Magic of Beginnings

IMG_7664Quick life update and the “magic of beginnings.”

This summer, reality hit me just like that window. Suddenly, I knew it was time to start something new. Or a lot of things. All at once. Why?

Dear Mary, why not? Love, God.

I’m glad this sudden & jarring realization came smack dab in the middle of summer rest. In the midst of ocean views out my window with family. In between my best friend and wild bunnies. Where kayaks glided on glassy waters. When I sat with my dad next to the flowers by his grave. Or the time I opened a box of I do’s and yes’s to being Maid of Honor. Where coffee stands existed in Southern California on a hot day with my favorite people.

So, this blessed rest gave me the chance to process. Anticipate. Grieve. Plan. Hope for all the new. New car {with AC, amen}. New dwelling. New roommates. New {frightening} bills. New job. New classroom. New {precious} students. Brand new season.

And the Lord has gone before every single step. Every one. My mom often says to me when I call to tell her how things are, “you know this isn’t normal, right?” Rejoicing and in awe of what the Lord is doing, even in the small daily happenings. Teaching me to stop and praise my Maker, my Father. A reminder that God’s hand of provision is mighty and at work in the middle of big scary transitions in my life.

Despite the screw up I sometimes am. Despite my foolish mistakes {like how I accidentally subscribed to a year’s worth of commercial free Korean dramas for too much money and couldn’t get a refund, oops}. Despite my naivety and put it off personality, at times. Despite myself. The Lord keeps being Himself, and chooses to not just work in spite of me, but with me and for me, for His glory. What love is this?

So, in the words of fifth grade hero August Pullman, “I’m pretty much totally and completely petrified.” Of this new season. Of change. Of my own limitations and weaknesses in it all.

But my confidence is rooted in a God whose love is radical and whose provision is “not normal.” It’s what allows me to trust the magic of beginnings. Lots of them. All at once. Why?

Dear Mary, why not? Love, God.

Open Wide Your Mouth

 

“Open your mouth wide and see if I won’t fill it. You will receive every blessing you can use!
Oh, that My people would listen to Me! Oh, that Israel would follow Me, walking in My paths! How quickly then I would subdue her enemies! How soon My hands would be upon her foes! 
Those who hate the Lord would cringe before Him; their desolation would last forever. But He would feed you with the choicest foods. He would satisfy you with honey for the taking.”
Psalm 81

I received a text message from my best friend, who is too far away from me at the moment, telling me that Psalm 81 showed up in her devotions for that morning.
Having not read my bible yet, I flipped it open to this Psalm of Asaph.
My eyes welled with tears as my lips mouthed the words, unraveling a song that sounds like a prayer my soul had been longing to pray.

These were the words of a man who knew, really knew, His God.
Who had tasted the sweetness of His goodness.
Who had seen the faithful hands of His provision.

I prayed with quivering lips,
“Oh Lord, I thirst for faith like that.”

In that moment I was both humbled and ashamed by my impeding lack of belief, much like Simon Peter when he found himself face down before the feet of Jesus in his fishing boat.
Let this story paint itself before you.

Simon and the other fisherman had been working under the heat of the sun until the sun began to escape them. Not one fish had been caught.
Exhausted, Simon was given the honor of lending his boat to Jesus to preach upon.
There was at least one good use for the boat that day.
After teaching, however, Jesus looked at him.
“Simon, sail out into the deep waters and let down your nets for a catch.”
Let down the nets?
The nets that produced nothing that entire day?
“Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.”
The nets dropped and caught what seemed to be every fish in the lake, spilling over and tearing the ropes.
Simon fell to the knees of Jesus.
“Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man.”
Simon saw the power of God’s providing hand and could hardly be in His holy presence.
Not with his sin.
Not with his doubt.
But he was called a disciple.
And he won something far greater than fish that day.

Friends, God invites us to let down our nets and watch with expectancy.
Watch the good He will bring.
Watch the people He will put in our paths.
Watch the assignments He will give us.
Watch the abundance of life fill us until we are bursting at the seams.

What would it look like if our prayer life was saturated and shaped by that faith that God is capable of doing whatever we humbly ask for and more in His name?
Now, this is not to be said that He will always answer with “yes.”
He may still answer “no.”
He uses noes for far better things than we can imagine.
But, like the Father that He is, He desires to hear the requests of His dearly beloved children.
Can’t you just hear him?
“Oh, my child, would you tell me what you want?”
He longs to hear your heart. Won’t you share it with Him?

Your life may not seem to be fruitful at the moment.
All you see is dry.
All you hear is silence.
All you know is failure.
But, when Jesus calls you to something that seems beyond your reach or impossible with your given circumstances, would you do it anyways, just because He said so?

Would you open wide your mouth?
Cast deep your nets.
Stretch far your hands.
And watch. Expect. Receive.
And when you receive whatever He brings, would You praise Your Father from whom it was given?
He who loves you with a relentless love is worthy of it.

“If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!”
Matthew 7:1